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Ahh there are really great moments-- and other times life can feel overwhelming and stressful.
John, a manager wrote: ”I’m just trying to keep up with the pace and not burn my team out," he explained. "But, I’m struggling. At this level, I need more time to learn about the business and I need more time with my team. I feel as though I am not enough or I am not measuring up and that drives me nuts."
His questioning, wanting, doubting, led me to think about the challenges of having a wealth of information at our fingertips. Feeling sick? Go see Dr. Google. Missed the news? Check Facebook or Twitter. Want to make news? Social media is crowning citizens as trusted news anchors every moment of the day.
While I spend most days fasting from news, stock quotes and sports' scores, the hottest most seductive news of the day always finds me...even when I am not looking. I recognize that there is a beauty to our information age, yet I can also see how information itself can be a seductive addiction that eats up our time and energy and causes us to compare ourselves to others in fascinating ways.
During a recent coaching certification, I had an extraordinary experience practicing methods of giving feedback. Instead of creating thoughts of “you’re not good enough”, we did something different, something magical. We created a space that felt like an adventure. It was like a leadership taste-test. We reviewed the 360 feedback as though we were tasting different desserts. As we went through each bite of feedback, we ‘tasted’ each piece by digesting the words and deciding what it meant to our growth goals and our vision for an inspiring future...and that felt like freedom. Ideas for growth lived where there would normally be feelings of guilt and shame...
Have you ever experienced tense moments at work or home when people disagree, over- power, feel intimidated, defend, offend, prove people wrong, prove that they are right, get frustrated or angry and think, say and do things that are hurtful? Yes?!
So have I, and I have definitely contributed to these in different ways. That's why I developed the process below.
We had just finished Day 1 of our Ultimate Leadership Experience session at Le Nordik: a beautiful lodge where our clients come to be really present, to heighten awareness and develop courage and rock their business. At early evening, it was just as beautiful and inviting as it was during the day: the brightness of the wooden floors, reflected the light coming through the large windows.
What if it is this simple… that there are just 5 requirements for you and your team to really feel successful: realize your goals and minimize the anxious, less productive experiences that the volume of work can bring?
Would you honour those requirements?
Here they are:
During holiday season, when I'm on holiday, seeing others on holiday, meeting with people whose people are on holiday, I notice more, and I notice things differently.
- I notice the mind slows down and can be present, more easily.
- That if I pause and breathe, and choose to take in all that's around me, the breeze, the gentle waves, the birds and crickets, the rustling leaves... that I feel really good, deep down in my soul.
- I notice people smile more on holidays.
The Harassment is Real
Whether intentional or not, harassment is as perceived by the recipient.
So if you are, or think you are, being harrassed, how do you feel?
Nervous? Scared? Frustrated? Depressed? Angry? Stressed? Despondent? All of the above, in any given day?
And if you are the “harasser”, how do you feel?
Frustrated? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Stressed? Anxious?
So how do either of you, the Harasser or the Harassee, perform when you're experiencing any of these emotions?
Dislike performance reviews but love giving helpful feedback?
A major challenge with performance reviews is that we feel we are being judged or graded and that gets our defenses up right away.
This 3-blog series is focused on how to have performance conversations that provide helpful feedback and achieve the intended/desired outcomes. (Ex. Reducing anxiety in performance convos; providing valuable insight to the recipient; great questions to ask in 1-1 meetings, etc.)
It can be stressful, exhausting and near impossible to be high performing all the time.
What can you do to regularly assess your individual and team’s level of inspiration, drive and commitment toward your goals?
Last week we shared with you how to create and make regular use of a Shared Vision to inspire your team, even during busy times. Let me share with you how we created a Shared Vision for The Leadership Group, so you get a sense of flow and impact on people's motivation.